Kad pomislim na smeh

Pre tri godine sahranila sam muža. Četiri dana kasnije dva kratka zvona na ulaznim vratima prekinula su me u pokušaju da iz dnevne pređem u spavaću sobu i pozabavim se njegovim stvarima. Otvorila sam, misleći da je poštar doneo neki zakasneli telegram.

Umesto njega, na pragu je stajala žena mojih godina, sitna, kratko podšišana. Osmehivala se, držeći po dve smokve u svakoj ruci. Nisam je ranije viđala u zgradi, a ni u komšiluku. Ušla je bez poziva, pričajući nekim meni nerazumljivim jezikom, bogatim samoglasnicima koji su čudno odzvanjali u stanu u kome je već predugo vladala tišina.

Uputila se pravo ka kuhinji kao da odlično poznaje raspored prostorija. Sledila sam je. Stala je ispred sudopere i pod mlazom vode oprala voće. Iz prve ladice izvadila je nož, presekla zrele plodove na pola i stavila ih u tanjir. Pružila mi ih je, još uvek se smeškajući. Uzvratila sam joj osmeh i poslužila se. Jele smo u tišini. Od tada, svraćala je svakog jutra.

Danas se nije pojavila.

Sedela sam za trpezarijskim stolom dok se nije smrklo. Probala sam da pojedem ostatak jučerašnje smokve ali imala je drugačiji ukus. Nikada ih, zapravo, nisam ni volela. 

Ipak, osmeh je tu, za svaki slučaj.  

The Smile

It happened three years ago, four days after my husband’s burial. Two short sounds of the doorbell caught me on my way to the bedroom, just as I wanted to deal with his stuff.

I opened the door, there stood a petite woman with short grey hair – smiling – two plums, one in each hand. She entered without an invitation, spoke a language I didn’t understand. It was rich in vowels that resonated awkwardly in the flat that had far too long been ruled by silence.

She headed towards the kitchen as if she knew the layout of my flat perfectly. I followed her. Standing in front of the sink, she washed the fruit under the tap. Then she pulled out a knife from the nearest drawer, cut the ripe fruit in half and put both halves on the plate.

Still smiling, she offered it to me. I smiled back and we ate in silence. We’ve done it every morning ever since.

Today, though, she didn’t come.

I sat at the kitchen table until it got dark outside. I tried to eat yesterday’s plum, but it tasted differently. I’d never really liked them.

Still, I’m smiling, just in case.